First Love, you only have one!

I got an email from my High School sweetheart today. I'd been trying to track her down for a couple of years, but to no avail. She finally joined Classmates.com, and I was able to send her an email. She responded that she is doing well, married for 9 years, with 3 children, and happy. I don't know why, but I worried about her for many years. She'd had a rough first marriage, and had a few ups and downs in the few years I kept up with her after that. So to find out that she is doing well was like finishing the last chapter of a mystery where the ending resolves and the main characters all end up where they should be. It changed my whole image of where I thought she'd be: homeless, and broken, because things between us hadn't worked out, and she'd made a really tragic life choice that went horribly wrong. She was my first love, and I was absolutely smitten with her. In high school, I was a bit of an ugly duckling, and she, going to another high school, was very popular, and beautiful. I don't know why she dated me in the first place, but she did, for our senior year. We lived 50 miles apart, and being that there was no internet or cell phones back then, I hand wrote her a letter at least every other day, sometimes 4 in a week! She didn't respond quite so often, but I didn't care, I belonged to someone wonderful and pretty and sweet and talented. She was a great artist, and ended up as a graphic artist later after college. I remember that I was listening to "IF" on the Bread's greatest hits 8 track tape, (shut-up, I know!)and writing her my first letter, and coincidentally, she was listening to that same song as she read my first letter, which mentioned that I was listening to that song as I wrote! That was the bond that brought us together immediately. It was a typical first love, and then the typical, "she went to a college out of town, and met someone else the first month" type ending. But despite my hurt, I've held a sweet spot in my heart for her anyway. Unfortunately, that would not be the only time I've encountered that type of ending, but life is what it is, and you move on, hurt for awhile, then thankful when you look back and realize the bigger pain you avoided by tasting the small one now. I'm glad she's doing well, and glad I am too. Dave Nicar

davenicar.com

This is the proposed style for my new website. I have one online right now, but I don't care for it much. It's okay, but not as dramatic as this one. I love drive-ins, we have one here in Memphis. My daughter and I go to it about once or twice a month in the summer, and a little less in the off-season. It's the exact same drive-in my parents took us to when we were my daughter's age, which is 8 1/2. I saw the Beatle's "Help" there, as well as "Song Of The South", which was great. I don't remember any others there, but I remember it as one of my best favorite childhood memories. Abi and I load up on junk food, and usually buy a lottery ticket at the convenience store across the street from the entrance, as the powerball drawing is held while we are in the movie, and it gives us something to look forward to when we get home, and want to dream about winning a kabillion dollars and not having to work or go to regular school. We pretend that I could just homeschool her, and not have to go to work, and that she would never have to leave. Her mom will be dropping her off at our house in the morning at 6:15am, or her way to work. We will spend a good part of the morning negotiating how we will spend the day. I, will be lobbying for a day outside the house, while she will be horse-trading for a day indoors. We went to a teapot exhibit at the museum just about 10 minutes from our house. There were hundreds of rare and unusual teapots on display, and Abi got busted by the rude security guard for leaning too closely on the EDGE of the display table. Not even the actual display area, just the edge of the table mind you. So we showed them. I pretended to look at a teapot right by the door next to guard, blocking her view, while Abi, in a deft display of rebellion against the "man", reached over and touched and actual teapot! Oh yes, bare-fingered! skin oils, dead skin cells and all. And amazingly enough, the teapot did not explode! We beat a hasty retreat, cause I think the lady was wise to our shenanigans, and was getting weird-er. I hope my baby does not take up a life of crime now... Dave nicar

Be Still...

I went for a ride on my bike today. I've had trouble running lately, so I've tried to spend more time on my bike. I rode thru the little suburb I live in, to the really nice running/bike trails we have here in Memphis. I rode on the paved trail thru the forest to get to the Running/biking trails, and although it is literally "over the river, and through the woods". Sadly, it does not lead to Grandmother's house as the song promises. Anyway, as I entered the woods on the dirt trail, dodging the puddles the rain had left in my path, about 5 minutes in, I was suddenly struck with the amazing stillness that I felt inside the woods, only minutes from thousands of cars impatiently making their way home from work to begin the weekend. The dull roar of the traffic was barely discernible in the distance, and the sun, bright and unrestrained by clouds, created a silent symphony of colors and shadows and contrast. And I stopped, turned off my MP3 player, and stood there in the middle of this quietness, overwhelmed by the hugeness of my God, and how in the midst of His GreatBig-ness, He cares enough about me to stir my heart, and remind me that His love for me, truly is better than life, bigger than life, so much better than the sweet life He has brought to me. So I took several amazing moments with my eyes closed, and my head thrown back, and my arms outstretched, to not ask, or plead, or need, or want anything from my creator, but just to BE His child. It was the best part of my week. Dave Nicar

"I'm sorry for your loss."

Hey, I didn't realize I'd been so long since blogging til' my friend Shawn, the author of my favorite blog, gently reminded me! Thanks Shawn! On a sadder note, the subject of today's blog is loss. I "lost" two friends this week. One, my cousin Eric, a really kind-hearted soul of 32, died of gastrointestinal hemorrhage this past weekend. The other, a friend of mine from work, Benny White, another amazing dear brother who died from respitory complications, possibly from asbestos exposure, some 30 years ago. Without going into too much detail, as I'm preparing to go to my cousin's funeral. Coincedentally, both funerals were today, so obviously I had to pick the fam first. Both men were good-hearted, kind men, with a ready smile, and listening ear. My cousin Eric, was a guy who always found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Benny, I didn't know as well, but I understand he has always been a great guy. There are no real words that I can offer their immediate families to take away any of their pain. I'm not a "gusher", although I feel very deeply for people. But I have concluded, over the years, that the best thing to say to someone in this situation, is simply, "I'm sorry for your loss." They won't rememeber anything you say later, only that you cared enough to share their hurt. I already miss these two guys, and I will think of them from time to time for a very long time, and miss them. Goodbye Eric, I love you. Goodbye Benny, I loved you too.